Goodbye
by Collective Soul
Summary: NickSara. He never got the chance to tell her he loved her.


A/N: I'm sorry, but I'm in a really depressing mood. I know that if I don't write this now, it'll never get written. By the way, I don't own anything or anyone except for Sara's sister Kate (who is entirely fictional because I know Sara doesn't actually have any siblings). And the song is 'I love you' by Sara Mclachlan

* * *

A solitary tear slid down her cheek, dropping onto the piece of paper she held in her hand and blurring the writing.

He was the only one for her, yet she could never have him. 

She applied a fresh coat of lipstick. She sealed the letter, wrote his name and kissed it, leaving a scorching red mark. 

_It's not too late! _Screamed the voices in her head.

But the voices coming from her heart were telling her otherwise. 

She placed the letter on the table by the door. He would find it. She walked into the bathroom.

She wiped her wet face with her hand, and picked up the knife. 

She took a deep breath. She turned on the bathtub tap. She had heard that it was less painful if she did it under running water. One quick slit, she didn't even feel it. She removed her towel and gingerly slid into the tub as it slowly filled up with steaming water. 

No mercy, no remorse… 

She closed her eyes for the last time.

By the time the phone rang, she was beyond hearing.

* * *

"Sara? I, uh… guess you aren't home, so I'm leaving a message. Call me when you get in, okay? It's Nick."

* * *

Nick hung up the phone and swallowed. Something was wrong; he could sense it. She had told him that she was going home. Maybe something had happened to her? Had she gotten into an accident?

He called her cell, but she didn't answer that either. 

Maybe he should go to her house; see if she was all right.

She had been acting really weird around him lately. In fact, it was only after he got engaged. Engaged to her sister. 

It wasn't that he didn't care for Kate; he did. But deep in his heart, he knew that the only woman he truly loved was Sara. And marrying Kate was the closest he could get to actually being with her. 

Before now, he hadn't even considered telling Sara how he felt about her. But it wasn't too late to call off the wedding…

He decided to tell her. He'd go over to her place, just to see if she was there. She was probably just ignoring him. 

He drove over, knowing where she lived. He had driven the road many times before. As he drove, memories of happier times arose. Times when Sara would invite him over; they would sit around and laugh, drink and watch old movies. But ever since he got engaged, Sara had shut him out. It was almost as if she didn't want to see him any more. And that made him sadder then ever. 

He pulled up into the parking lot and entered the building. 

He walked up the stairs slowly. The closer he got to her floor, the more he felt… he didn't know how to describe it. It was almost a sense of… foreboding. 

He came to her door and knocked. There was no answer, but he knew she was home. He could see a light shining under the door. And he could hear a noise, although he couldn't quite make out what it was. It almost sounded like… running water. But Sara wasn't one to waste water. Maybe she was running a bath. 

He needed to get in. He needed to talk to her, to confess his feelings. He knocked again, and again there was no reply. He was starting to grow impatient. He decided to try the door, just to humour himself.

… And to his surprise, the door was unlocked. He cautiously entered, and as he pushed the door open the sound of running water grew louder. 

"Sara?" he called uncertainly. 

His eyes travelled around her small apartment, and it was then when he saw the letter. 

_Nick, _It said on the outside, beside a blood red lip print. 

A feeling of dread began to grow in the pit of his stomach. He picked up the letter, but didn't have to open it. He already knew what it said. 

He sprinted down the hall to the bathroom, hoping that he could get there in time. But his gut told him that it was too late. 

He burst into the bathroom, his eyes confirming what his gut had already told him.

"Oh God, Sara." He whispered. He waded through the mixture of water and blood that was flooding the floor, and he knelt down beside her. Her eyes were closed, and she looked somehow peaceful. He reached for her wrist, feeling for a pulse. It was too late. He closed his eyes, and tears began to cascade down his face.

"No," he whispered, holding on to her hand. "NO!" he shouted, standing up. He ran from the flooded bathroom, collapsing on her couch. He brought his hands to his face and began to uncontrollably weep. He stayed like that for five minutes, crying until there were no more tears. 

He composed himself as best he could and walked over to her phone. He dialled 911.

"Hello," said the receptionist. "Please state you emergency."

"I need emergency paramedics," he whispered into the receiver. 

"What is your location?" asked the receptionist. 

He told her Sara's address and she said that someone would be there within ten minutes. He sat down on the couch to wait, and suddenly remembered the letter. 

He walked over and picked it up from the floor where it had landed. He took a deep breath and unfolded it. 

_Nick,_

_I have loved you longer than you can ever know. Ever since I first saw you, I knew that I was in love with you. It breaks my heart that you don't feel the same way. I have been able to live with it for three years; satisfied by your smile or a brief exchange of words in the hall. But what made the tear final was when you went and got engaged. That might have even been fine with me, if not for the fact that it was to my sister. I could never live with knowing that while I awaking alone and desolate, she was awaking in your arms to your smile and loving touch._

_Goodbye, and I hope you enjoy a long and prosperous loving life with Kate. _

_Love Sara._

Before he had read it, the letter was blurred slightly by her tears. Now, it was practically illegible by his. 

He sat down on the couch and once again, the tears flooded from his eyes. 

He had gone over to admit his feelings to her, but he was too late. Now she would never know. 

He was still sitting hunched over in the couch clutching the tear-soaked letter when the paramedics arrived. 

"Who's hurt?" asked a burly man. 

"She's beyond pain," said Nick. "In the bathroom." He motioned down the hall. 

The confused paramedics made their way into the bathroom.

"Oh my God." Nick heard a young paramedic exclaim. 

"She's dead," said another.

One came walking out of the bathroom, presumably to get a body bag. He nodded sympathetically to Nick as he passed. 

Nick was grateful when he was alone in the room again. 

"Sara," He whispered to the air, feeling the tears welling up again. "I never got the chance to tell you. I love you. More than anything."

* * *
    
    _I have a smile_
    
    _Stretched from ear to ear_
    
    _To see you walking down the road_
    
    _We meet at the lights_
    
    _I stare for a while_
    
    _The world around disappears_
    
    _Just you and me_
    
    _On this island of hope_
    
    _A breath between us could be miles_
    
    _Let me surround you_
    
    _My sea to your shore_
    
    _Let me be the calm you seek_
    
    _Oh and every time I'm close to you_
    
    _There's too much I can't say_
    
    _And you just walk away_
    
    _And I forgot_
    
    _To tell you_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _And the night's too long_
    
    _And cold here_
    
    _Without you _
    
    _I grieve in my condition_
    
    _For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so_
    
    _Oh and every time I'm close to you_
    
    _There's too much I can't say_
    
    _And you just walk away_
    
    _And I forgot_
    
    _To tell you_
    
    _I love you_
    
    _And the night's too long_
    
    _And cold here_
    
    _Without you_

* * *

the end.


End file.
